Skinny Friends

December 17, 2008

I have a lot of them. My incredible co-author, for example, resembles a J Crew model. But, hey, she’s also approximately seven feet tall and she runs marathons. I understand that.

Let’s flashback to my 2005 wedding, where many of my “normal” friends saw many of my “magazine” (read: skinny. I think I’m the chubbiest girl alumn of Philadelphia Style magazine) friends for the first time. I invited my closest coworkers–the three of them weighed a combined total of oh, I don’t know, 153.5 pounds. That may be an exaggeration, but none of them cleared 105.

So, here I am on my wedding day, flanked by women so tiny their dresses were really more like stylish hankies, my own mother slack-jawed in awe at their diminutive gorgeousness.  (Have I not posted yet about my mother and thinness? TK)

My normal friends said, “How do you manage to go in and face them every day? Are they anorexic?” To which I had to explain, repeatedly, no. They are just naturally skinny.

Another food writing friend of mine is a yoga enthusiast. I said to her, “I love yoga, but if I’m at the gym, I need to maximize my time burning calories. Do you need to watch what you eat or go for long runs in the morning? How do you maintain your weight?”

She says to me, “I don’t like to exercise. I guess I’m very lucky.”

And today, over lunch with one of my favorite 90-pounders in the world, I try to explain this blog. “75 percent of the garments that I own don’t fit me,” I say, visualizing how pathetic and empty my closet would look if only items that fit me hung there.

She was at a loss. This woman could drape herself in toilet paper and look like a million bucks. She said: “Well, just because your jeans fit, doesn’t mean you feel good about yourself.”

Of course not.

But my skinny friends have no idea what it’s like to walk into South Moon Under and not be able to find a single pair of pants you can put on or to spend hours searching for a special-occasion dress that doesn’t make you look like the frumpy fat girl.

This blog isn’t for them. Thankfully, when I got home from lunch, I had this e-mail from one of the most gorgeous nonskinny minnies I know:

hey! So I’m loving “What I Weigh Today” and let me just say, I am in the same boat with you. When Dec. began, I vowed to get to the gym everyday and eat and cook healthier… and I’m dealing with the same setbacks as you are- we are living parallel “weight war” lives.

I don’t think it’s just us in the same boat. I hope that maybe other woman with lots of skinny friends and little support will come here and talk to me about walking that line between wanting to be fit and healthy while enjoying food and accepting themselves as they are. Because while I would like to lose five or ten pounds, my days of trying to keep pace with the naturally thin are over.


2 Responses to “Skinny Friends”

  1. Leigh Says:

    I have to admit that I do get jealous at those who don’t have to work out regularly in order to fit into their clothes. And although I definitely work out to look good, it’s also so I feel good; I sleep better, think better, and the long-term health benefits are invaluable. But, first and foremost, I can’t afford to not fit into my closet…I’ve spent way too much on it!

  2. joymanning Says:

    Leigh, I’d probably never work out if it weren’t for the instant gratification payoffs. It always improves my mood and clears my head!

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